(I’ll note that this blog has been written for nearly 2 months, however I didn’t know when was a good time to post it?! Or if I wanted too, well I knew I wanted to, but I didn’t know what kind of response it would get.)
Is it just me, am I the only person who doesn’t live in this perfect bubble of smiling children 24/7? Because your about to hear my brutally honest truth about my toddlers tantrums and the big boy breakdowns we’ve been having recently.
Every child has them, its how they express themselves. I love my kids, but when they are screaming at me, or just whining over nothing I could pull my hair out. Then they follow you, what’s with that?! Why is it kids seem to know your having a bad day, or you just need two minutes to pull yourself together, put on that momma smile and pretend that they didn’t just hurt your feelings?! It’s not like when a friend says something, you can hold a 24 hour grudge, noooo no, you gotta get back out into that room and act like it never happened.
Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is damn hard work, I’ll tell you that much. Add the major fact I can’t drive into the mix, and that we live basically in the middle of no where it means I stare at the same 4 walls, day in day out. I mean it doesn’t matter how many rooms their are in the house I can sit in, their is only so far you can escape from a 2 year old. It’s like they have a tracking device on you saying mom’s gone out of the 5 meter radius lets go see why!!
Where do I start?..
We have… scratch that… We had been pretty damn lucky with William, he never seemed to have wobblies or tantrums but then they came. Around his second birthday. Along with the tantrums, although we are now beginning to watch him and we’ve begun to realize they aren’t even “tantrums” — at least not all the time! –– A lot of his problem, seems to stem from stress and the fact he can’t be that vocal about what he wants! He’s been saying new words left right and centre daily at the moment, but just because he can say words doesn’t mean he knows how to put those words into a sentence or when to use them. So a lot of our time at the moment is spent, trying to help William be more vocal, which does seem to be stopping the “wobblies” he has to some degree. We find getting down to his level, and speaking very slowly and clearly to him helps him think about what he is trying to ask or do more.
Tyler has actually been a huge help in William’s communication often asking William to copy him, or just simply speaking slowly and repeating himself for William. It’s been a huge blessing. Of course, their have been times, where Tyler hasn’t listened to William at all and therefore, I’ve been referee too their bickering and screaming! I’m sure everyone has those days!
Changing the topic to Tyler, who knew that big boys had meltdowns worse than a toddler!? Tyler is a very good boy most of the time, he knows his please and thank you’s. However who else suffered the 4/5 year old from hell when they started school!? The tiredness, the over worked little brain, and potentially of course like all children the habbits of others coming home with them!! No ones children are perfect not even mine. Tyler started the whole I don’t like that, I’m not trying that, I don’t want to eat that I want to eat this, so and so at school is allergic to those so am I, or he said she doesn’t like those so I don’t have to eat them either because I don’t like them. It was the same story every night no matter what was put in front of him at the table!! Kids being in school does have the added benefit of the threat of telling his teacher how naughty he is being at home!! Any one else use this one?!
I guess what I’m trying to say with this rather random/ranty blog post, is that not everyday is a good day when it comes down to being a parent, a mom. It’s hard work. Being a SAHM is hard work, as is being a working parent. We all have these days. But even when we have had the worst bed time routine because of these tantrums, I still love these boys with all my heart, they are my boys. They are part me, when I look at them, and have these hard days, I can’t help but then want to say sorry to my own parents, for the tantrums, the strops, the teenage meltdowns, the he said she said tit-for-tat, that I’m sure I did when growing up. I always know they are a phone call away on the bad days with the kids, and they’ll tell me its just a phase and you’ll get through it, their kids. Every word is true. Every child goes through this, they are learning how to deal with their emotions and situations.
One day I hope Tyler and William will look upon their children in the same manner.
So don’t hate yourself when you run upstairs, and shut the bathroom door as soon as your partner/husband gets home from work. It’s normal, anyone who says otherwise is either lying or they have some kind of secret to raising blissful children. You know you love your children, and would if the time came do anything for them.
My smallest little man is sleeping next to me right now, and as I look at his little face. My heart melts, with pride and joy. He’s my little man. I wouldn’t change these kids for anything in the world. They are my kind of perfect, my crazy, my love, my
insanity and my world.
One mom to another, keep going mama’s your doing a great job.